Well, believe it or not, Sean is cutting his 1st tooth. About a week ago, Sean started drooling buckets so I suspected that he might be teething, but dismissed it because he is so young, then about 3 days ago, Sean was gumming my finger to death when I felt something sharp on his lower gums and checked and sure enough, the outside edge of his lower left front tooth has emerged from his gums.

     This brings mixed emotions for me, on the one hand I'm excited as my boy is growing and becomming his own person, on the other hand, I want to cherish, and eternally hang onto him being so young.

Well teefers arent the only thing my boy is working on right now, I put him in his doorway jumper the other day and he was having a blast pushing himself off the ground, standing and turning around, now dont get me wrong he doesnt realize that he is turning himself or anything like that, but I have noticed that at certain times throughout the day he gets stompy, lifting 1 leg and then pushing off with it so I decided to put him in the jumpy to see how he would react, he loves it, although he does tire quickly. He seems to understand so much, and he communicates so well what he wants, for food it's nahhhh, for diapers it's nngahhh, and a clear geeeee when he's sleepy. And then theres just generic things that amaze Mike and I, Mike was laying in be with Sean laying against his raised knee's, Mike was rubbing Seans feet which is now part of a ritual they do together, Mike got engrossed in the tv and stopped rubbing Seans feet, kind of forgetting about him when Sean began sticking his foot up in the air and making noises, I pointed this out to Mike, he began rubbing Seans feet again and Sean quieted down and just layed back returning to sucking on his binky. Now I dont care what proffesionals might say, my boy wanted his daddy to continue rubbing his feet and told him so.

     Sean has outgrown the 0-3 month clothes he has. He's now 14 lbs, and is very close to rolling himself from back to belly, which is irritating as he doent like being on his belly, so when he has something to push over with, he can do it and does and then fusses to be back on his side. Someone we know mentioned that Sean is "getting out of the way for the next one" which scares Mike to death. Persoanlly, after having Sean, yes, I could and would be glad to do it again, but Mikey, well he's a different story, he loves his boy to no end, but wants no parts of another, so much so that he will not touch me without a condomn, and actually lost all interest (if you know what I mean) when we were fooling around without one. As for me, I'm not sweating getting pregnant again at all, for the simple reason, I have absolutely no sex drive, Mike was wanting to fool around a week or so agao and I told him "No baby, I'm all dirty, Seans been spitting up on me all day and trust me you dont want me right now!" lmao, me making excuses to get out of sex, I was always begging for it b4 Sean, now, just let me be a mommy right now.

     On a more serious note, Mikes mom isnt doing so good, she's back in the hospital in ICU, she believed she was going to die the other night so Mike convinced her to let him call an ambulance, her nurse yesterday told us that she should make it through this no problem which is music to Mikes ears, me on the other hand, I know Jackie now, not who she used to be and I wish her suffering could end and I know she wants the same, she's tired of hurting, and fighting to simply breathe, she has no life other than laying in bed all day watching tv on oxygen and doing her nebulizer treatments every 30 minutes if not more often, she lives on dr. pepper, Ice water and burrito's and feels great if she can manage to get to the bathroom herself without an attack. Weve moved a portable toilet into her room so she can simply slide forward off the bed and do her business and then Mike or I come in and change the bag, she hates this, she is such a proud woman, a shell of who she used to be and wants to be free of this body she's trapped in, for Mike I want her to live, but for Jackie, I cant even say it, I just want her to be free. My prayer is that if this is it, let her go quickly and peacefully, if not, let her make a speedy recovery, but for her sake, I hope she doesnt recover, right now, she has a machine breathing for her, but is so sedated that she's feeling barely any pain, we went to see her yesterday and she was using all her strength to mouth the words I  love you, we were only there about 10 minutes, but it was enough to drain her energy reserves, she fell asleep as soon as we left her room.

     Mike and I have gutted her bedroom so that we can clean it thoroughly, paint it and put a new finish on the floor for her, so that when, if, she does come home, she will be able to breathe easier, as the only cleaning she can handle is me washing her sheets weekly, we cant even dust as when the dust is stirred it sends her into a bad attack, so were making it as nice as possible for her now as she will easily be in the hospital for 2 more weeks, giving enough time for the cleaning, painting, and finishing fumes to disappear b4 her return. Emotionally, I think I'm doing pretty good, when I moved in with Mike, his ailing uncle had recently passed away and I had to pack up his room as Mike couldnt go in there, packing his mothers room to clean it has been much more difficult, and eerie, I didnt get to meet his uncle, he passed the day before I was to meet him, but I've been here going on 4 years now with his mother and I had to take several breaks while emptying her room.

     OK, I cant think about that anymore, Cici arrived yesterday from her vacation with grandma in CA, to get an award she recieved in the mail from the city council for taking part in improving her community, yes I'm sooooooooo proud of her, she's going to a choir competition this weekend in San Diego and they will get to go to Disneyland while there, only the advanced choir is supposed to be going but, she and 2 other intermediates have been showing the talent to go . I guess right now, I'm neither up nor down as so many things are happening right now that counter-balance eachother on an emotion scale, Jackie's situation does hurt me, but Sean and Cici are making me so proud right now that I cant stay bummed. Anyway, I could go on all evening about my family, but I must get something done around the house while Sean is sleeping. So until next time, I love you all and Blessed Be.